Open Letter to Parents: Two Philosophies To Guide Them (Part I)
Dear Parents,
I believe that developing and committing to a personal philosophy provides a source of guidance when difficult choices need to be made, and resilience when times are challenging. My goal is to help these wrestlers develop and live by their own personal philosophy and guiding principles. I want to emphasize two major philosophies that I aim to instill in them, both of which I believe establish a confident sense of resilience and self-worth:
The "Man in the Arena" Mentality
Former wrestler (and US President) Theodore Roosevelt
This concept is captured in a famous speech of President Theodore Roosevelt, known as The Man in the Arena (full quote here), where he said:
"It is not the critic who counts... The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood... who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly."
This philosophy is simple but profound, asserting that being in the arena is more important than avoiding failure. Your son will experience failure, and he will encounter critics. But those are small prices to pay in comparison to an unlived life. This belief encourages him to compete, to try, and to risk failure—because it is in action that growth and fulfillment are found. This philosophy encourages him to rate himself on whether or not he chose to step into the arena, rather than if he won the contest. The courage to step into the arena is the foundation of a meaningful life.
How You Can Support This Philosophy
When your son comes home after a practice or competition, consider how you frame your feedback and if feedback is appropriate at all. Remind yourself that he is the one in the arena whose face is marred with sweat and blood and who must shoulder the disappointment and potential embarrassment of a loss. With this in mind, your caring parental instinct will do the rest.
We are shaping his internal voice, and we want that voice to say,
"What matters most is that I have the courage to step into the arena."
